Thursday Things

1. Ladies and gents, this is the moment you’ve waited for!

sproutingflowers

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!!!!!!!!!!!

I was out on my patio yesterday, and even though I had wholly given up on my bulbs ever sprouting, I decided to check my garden just in case, since we had had a short stretch of warmer weather, after all. To my complete surprise, I discovered TWO sprouting tulips! *celebrates without ceasing*

Granted, I planted 55 bulbs, so at the moment I’m only at a 3 percent success rate. But a 3 percent success rate is better than a 0 percent success rate, which is what I thought I was going to get, so !!!!!!!!!! I’m beyond thrilled, and really hope this is a sign of good things to come for the rest of my garden. Even if it’s not, I at least now have something, and I’m so, so, SO happy I have something!

2. I was out on my patio yesterday because for the first time in…I’m not even sure. At least two years?…I bailed on a run because I just couldn’t deal.

I mentioned in my Shamrock Shuffle recap that I had felt anxious and stressed going into the race, and part of it was due to the race and the pressure I put on myself to have a good performance, for sure. But that was really just the tip of the stress iceberg. I’ve been dreading this week for quite some time, for reasons I will explain in the next item on my Thursday Things list, and it’s been weighing on me mentally big time. I’ve been a moody, grumpy, weepy mess all week, and when I got home from work, all I felt like I could do was curl up on the couch and cry. My original plan was to curl up on the couch, cry, and then go tackle the 50 minute tempo run I had on my calendar, but by the time I had gotten through the couch + cry part of the equation, I realized that a run (and all the time it would take to finish the run, stretching, foam rolling, showering, and all that) would likely do more harm than good in the mental health department, so I skipped the running and took a soothing hot shower instead.

Maggie had a great post last week about regretting a workout, and I thought about it a lot yesterday. Most of the time, I do think it’s better to do something instead of nothing in the workout department, especially if you’re not in the habit of working out. Excuses pile up quickly, and the next thing you know, it’s been weeks since you broke a sweat. But other times–days like yesterday for me, when I was at my mental health breaking point, or days like two months ago, when my mouth wasn’t healed but not healed enough from my wisdom teeth extraction yet to handle the types of workouts I wanted to do–it truly is better to just rest, give your body and/or mind the time they need to recover, and move on.

3. It’s Holy Week, and this year, I’m going all in. I usually go to church on Palm Sunday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday, but I’m attempting the…quintfecta?…this year: Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Sunday.

I’ve toyed with the idea of going to every Holy Week service before but never actually gone through with it because it is a commitment. The average Sunday service at my church lasts about an hour. These services range from anywhere between an hour and a half and two and a half hours each. I wanted to make it a priority this year, though, because this is–for real this time–the last Easter in my church as it exists today.

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After two years of suspecting that that Easter was the last Easter, this one actually is the last Easter. Half of our property has been sold (ish. I think? I don’t know that they’ve officially closed.). We (most likely) have a temporary space to use for however long it takes to flip the current church building into a combined church/office building (offices for the church, that is, not commercial space): a process I bet will take at least two years, considering at this point, all we have in terms of the renovated space are vague ideas of what we want. We have a target date for our last service in the current building. This is, after years of false starts, actually happening.

Even though I’ve had two years to get used to the idea of all of this, I still expect to cry on Easter, and not just because I’ll be sleep deprived after three consecutive nights of late services. It just makes me sad. Maybe it shouldn’t–we’re not losing the space forever, after all–but it does. I wish things didn’t have to change. I wish things could be like they (apparently) were 10 years ago, with a thriving congregation and a robust budget. I wish I didn’t feel such a profound sense of loss over all of this. I wish I could look forward to Easter like I normally do, rather than dreading it. It’s been a long time coming, but somehow that doesn’t make any of it easier.

Are you doing anything for Easter?
Have you ever taken a mental health rest day?

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4 thoughts on “Thursday Things

  1. I think it’s great that you took a mental health rest day from working out. I really struggle with taking a break from exercise because I have this mentality that if I workout then I won’t regret missing the workout. I do think I should probably take a few more rest days, but they only happen every so often.

    • I definitely understand – I almost always think that, too! Working out usually makes me feel better (and I worry that I’ll beat myself up later for skipping a workout I didn’t “need” to skip), but I’m trying to get better about remembering that I need to listen to my head as much as my body, and sometimes my head says it can’t handle any additional stress, just like my body says that sometimes, too.

  2. I agree with you (and with Maggie’s post). There have been times when I’ve skipped runs for no other reason than I just really really really didn’t feel like going. And while I’m sure I would have felt good if I sucked it up and went, I didn’t regret NOT going either, because I enjoyed my time at home relaxing, tidying up the house and not being out in the freezing cold. It is important to exercise regularly and that does mean having the discipline to force yourself to do things that you may not want to do but you know is the best thing. That said, we are humans, not machines, and sometimes things come up. It’s not the end of the world, and you are not going to lose fitness after a couple days off.

    I think we are all occasionally guilty of taking running a little too seriously. We are not elite athletes, we are just regular people doing this for fun.

    • “I think we are all occasionally guilty of taking running a little too seriously. We are not elite athletes, we are just regular people doing this for fun.” YES. Man, if this doesn’t hit the nail on the head, I don’t know what does. Obviously it’s good to have goals and things that motivate you to keep training and such, but I know I DEFINITELY get caught up in thinking that my races are the be all end all of my life sometimes – like it would be this enormous catastrophe to not hit my goals. There is literally nothing riding on my race results but my pride, and while my ego doesn’t like taking a hit, that’s certainly much easier than my wallet taking a hit like it would for an elite. It’s a hobby! I’m here to enjoy myself! There’s no reason to put my training ahead of my actual health needs when I have so little to lose by taking one extra rest day.

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