Thursday Things: Stuffs Edition

1. Remember my stuffs? Time for all to be revealed!

2. Stuff #1: Since late October, I have been actively looking for a new job. I had reached a breaking point at my current job for reasons that would fill a novel–actually, I had reached my breaking point at my current job around October of 2014, but then a coworker of mine quit, leaving me really with no choice but to stay with the company. So I stuck it out until I couldn’t stick it out any longer, and started applying for everything and anything relevant. In total, I applied for over 100 jobs. It was discouraging, it was disheartening, and it was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever gone through. I have never before in my life felt so wholly rejected, over and over and over again, and it led me to question everything about my professional life up to this point: my current career, my past experience, my choice of a college major. In late January, I had an interview with a company and left feeling better than I had ever felt after an interview up to that point. I was positive I’d get the job…and then I didn’t.

3. Stuff #2: Since early September, I’ve been dating someone. I may or may not have conveniently chosen to leave him out of my Adventures in Online Dating post about Match. Sorry not sorry. When I said last year that any and all future boyfriends were staying off the blog, I meant it, and I still mean it. When/if I get engaged, I’ll be sure to blindside all of you, but until then, I feel more comfortable keeping my relationships private while they are active. Well, two days after I was rejected from that job I was sure I was going to get, my boyfriend and I had A Talk, which basically boiled down to him no longer being sure if he could continue with the relationship. He has an extremely busy professional life that always put a bit of a strain on our relationship, due to his stress level and busyness level. We made it work, but it was quite unlike most relationships I’ve seen, to say the least. I very much liked this boy, and was willing to move heaven and earth to maintain this relationship.

4. Throughout the month of February, our relationship sputtered on. Then, last Saturday, we broke up. Ish. (For those of you keeping close tabs on my life: yes, my ex-boyfriend from last year broke up with me on March 4, 2015. My now-ex-sort-of-boyfriend from this year broke up with me on March 5, 2016. If anyone needs me on March 6, 2017, I plan to be on a remote island in the Pacific, completely unreachable by any other human, because damn it, I am not being dumped on the first weekend of March three years in a row!) The Spark Notes version of our breakup was that he still cares about me, and I still care about him, but he doesn’t feel like he has the ability to give me the attention I deserve in a relationship due to his work circumstances. I don’t know if you’ve ever broken up with someone when neither party really wanted to break up, but let me tell you, it is not fun. My breakup last year wasn’t fun, either, but it’s much easier to go through something like that and be like, “Hey, my ex-boyfriend was actually just an asshole who couldn’t appreciate me for who I am as a person. Good riddance!” rather than something like this and be like, “Gosh, we both still really care about this a lot, but situations completely out of our control are keeping us from being together. That’s…just about as shitty as it gets.”

5. Last weekend started, however, with a third-round interview at a company I had fallen head over heels in love with. It was quite apparent to me that the person who would be my boss thought I was fantastic, based on my second-round and third-round interview experiences, but I had to impress HR and a VP as well. On Monday afternoon, I got a call from the person who would be my boss, offering me the job, and I accepted it. I have two weeks left in my current position, and will begin my new role on March 28. (As a side note, that will obviously impact my blogging a bit. Lately, I’ve been more inclined to create blog posts on the weekends, so my new job won’t affect that, but I imagine my blog reading will decrease for awhile until I’ve settled into my new job and figured out how all of that will work.) I’m absolutely thrilled for my new job, but I’m also heartbroken over leaving my current position. Ultimately, I know that this is the best career decision for me, but I will desperately miss my current industry, which I’ve very much enjoyed being a part of. My new position is in a completely different industry (still in Chicago, though), and while I’ll be doing very similar work to what I’ve been doing in the past, the context will be totally different.

6. So, those are my stuffs, which have now reached their conclusion, oddly enough with in the space of two and a half days. It has been an absolute emotional rollercoaster of a week, and I honestly have no idea how I’m feeling about anything. I alternate between being giddily happy and sobbing, so if I had to summarize myself these days, “a complete mess” would be the phrase I’d use. Life is awfully weird sometimes.

20 thoughts on “Thursday Things: Stuffs Edition

  1. I am sorry to hear this stuff and also hopeful and excited for the new job!

    I got laid off in late 2007 as the ‘crash’ hit Massachusetts before the rest of the country. As the sole provider for a family of four it was very stressful, but looking back I got a great severance package, was only ~5 months between my old job and starting at Corning (now just passed 8 years!) and even worked a 3 month contract in between!

    The reason I mention that is part of my fast transition is I already had started looking, as I was very dissatisfied with my old job, had looked to get out 3 times over my 15 years … and already had an interview scheduled for the week after my layoff (which turned into a 3 month contract job at a startup that failed a few months after I left). It is really hard and stressful.

    So I definitely know that feeling of the roller-coaster … I still have hurt feelings from one little company in New Hampshire that almost hired me … twice, across 5 years. Once I lost out, the other time the opening got cut. Both times I had multiple interviews and really saw myself there.

    My move to Corning (both the company and moving our family across states) was incredibly positive … and I hope you see similar success.

    I am also sorry about your relationship(s). I think as you mention it is harder when you both don’t really want things to end … I hope things work out for you – and I think it is probably good to keep things separate.

    On the other hand, there is the side of me that thinks that inability to find priority is perhaps a signal that it is for the best – at least at this point. I am not trying to compare – every relationship, every person, every situation is different, and it is neither fair nor helpful to compare. Just a thought …

    Anyway – sorry about the relationship and hopeful for good news on the job front! 🙂

    • Wow! What an experience you had with your job change! I’m glad it sounds like everything ended up working out really well for you, and though I know there will be a learning curve with this new job, it really feels like it could be a great fit for me – and after 100+ applications and many, many interviews, I feel like I got a better idea of what would or would not be a good fit for me. It was very relieving to find something that seems like it will be.

      I completely agree with you, and to be honest, that was something that was on my mind for a lot of the last couple of months. While I would never expect to be someone’s top priority after knowing them for only six months, I would expect to be *a* priority, and for whatever reason, that just didn’t seem to be a possibility. Live and learn, I suppose!

      • Glad I wasn’t out of line … as an old married guy (our 25th engagement anniversary is in just a few weeks!), I don’t pretend to be in step with anything current in terms of relationships … so I think about what I would think if it was one of my kids. And that is what I came to … you should be A priority.

        I also look at people I have known through the years … and when one person (not always the guy, but usually) cannot make the other a priority yet the other person keeps plugging along … I have never seen it get better. There is no time for the spouse, the spouse’s friends, the kids, the kids’ school activities or friends … and the other spouse is left with a trail of excuses and broken promises.

        Wow that was uplifting … sorry! 😦

      • It’s all good! I mean, honestly, it’s reassuring to hear this sort of thing – I’d much rather put up with this sort of thing for six months than six years (or more), and when it only affects me, not others (kids, etc.). Not that I want to put up with at all, of course, but outside perspective like this help to point out issues I’d choose to ignore for the sake of preserving something that probably didn’t need to be preserved in the first place!

  2. Thanks for sharing. Congrats on the new job! That’s a really exciting thing, and it will be good to have something new to learn and adapt! The job could be a nice break from all the relationship drama, but also a good way to meet new people. Sometimes you end up meeting someone you never expected without putting any effort into looking. A change of scene is always good for that.

    • Thanks! Yes, getting that news was a welcome relief after this past weekend, and does seem like a really fantastic opportunity to potentially expand my social circle. My new company is MUCH larger than my current company, so there will be lots of new people to meet and get to know!

  3. Woohoo for the new job! After you start, let’s meet for a lunch break or coffee before work 🙂 I’m sorry it was such a wild ride of a weekend – doesn’t it seem like that always happens – so many big changes coming all at one time?

  4. So sorry to hear about the breakup. =( BIG HUGS!!!

    Congratulations on the new job!!! I totally understand the feeling about feeling bad leaving the old job, even if you were frustrated there, but also being excited for the new one. But it’s always such a great feeling to start with a new clean slate! Super excited for you!!!

    • Thank you on both counts! This is the first time I’ve ever left a job where it didn’t make “sense” (previously I’ve left due to graduation, moving, the season ending, etc.), which is a really weird feeling. But I’m very much looking forward to the new opportunity!

  5. New job!!! Plus, from what you told me, it sounds fun to me. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you have awesome coworkers. I’m happy you like the company, though. That’s a great sign.

    That is a bummer about the relationship but, like another commenter said, relationships do take work to maintain and if it’s not a priority for someone right now then that sucks but it’s just going to happen right now. Hopefully with finishing up stuff at the old job and getting started at the new job you’ll keep yourself busy. And climbing, of course 🙂 I know you’ll be climbing 🙂

    • Things definitely do look sound really promising at the new place! I’m hoping it’s not just all recruitment “We’re the best every and will solve all your problems!” sort of stuff, but my future boss seemed like an EXTREMELY honest, open person, so I don’t think they were just giving me the sell to get me in the door. And it has been really helpful to have all of this happen at the same time from that busyness perspective – it’s kept me from wallowing, which I think has been very helpful for me.

  6. Congrats on the new job! It sounds like you and they both think it will be a great fit!

    So sorry to hear about your breakup. I can imagine that kind of breakup could leave you feeling pretty unsettled. But like many others said, a couple needs to agree on the priorities of a relationship!

    Hoping to hear more good news about your new job soon!

  7. Yessss you’re back!! Well there’s not much one can say to comfort breakup stuffs, so I’ll focus on the good: NEW JOB!!! I’m so happy for you. You stayed there farrrrr too long considering you have been itching to leave for what seems like years. I can’t wait to hear about all the new adventures this new job will bring! I’m interested to know where it is!

Leave a Reply to Bethany @ Accidental Intentions Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s