Thursday Things

1. Three cheers for not having to go to work tomorrow! I wasn’t entirely sure whether I’d get Friday off for the Fourth, but it turns out my office will be closed, and I am oh-so happy. I have a feeling it’s going to be a really low key weekend for me…and by “low key” I mean “lonely.” Well, maybe not “lonely” so much as “alone.” I don’t feel like organizing anything, so unless someone actively tries to organize something with me, I’m probably not going to do anything. (I realize this sounds like a passive cry for someone to be like, “Oh my gosh, Bethany, you should come do this with me and these other people!” That’s really not what I’m going for here, to be clear.) Although I may finally get around to ordering patio furniture for my deck and porch, because if I want to make my dreams of having breakfast on my porch come true, I should probably have something other than a concrete floor to sit on.

2. Last Saturday, I went out with my best friend and a bunch of his other friends, since it was his last weekend in town until September (*cue sobbing*). I had an ENORMOUS writeup on this experience all blogged out, and then WordPress ate my Thursday Things draft, so now the exhaustive recap of the night is gone. BOO. Instead, you get the highlight reel.

Major Life Moment #1: The cat no longer hates me.


My best friend’s roommate got this cat…I don’t even know. Sometime in early 2014. Like all cats, it started as a wonderful, delightful kitten, and then, tragically, grew up into a cat. This, in my opinion, is the major downfall of kittens. Unlike puppies, who grow up into loving dogs, kittens grow up into aloof cats, which is so unfortunate. Anyway, I’ve felt judged and disdained by this cat for probably the past 10 to 12 months, but on Saturday when I was hanging out at my friend’s before we went out, the cat, of his own choosing, willingly got up from the ottoman upon which he was perched and came over to sit with me. I legitimately could not believe it.

Major Life Moment #2: I stayed up for 24 hours.

I suppose, if you want to get really technical about it, I took a half-nap for 20 minutes on Saturday evening. BUT I don’t think that counts, because I never fell fully asleep. I got up at 4:45 Saturday morning due to my long run and went to bed at about 5:15 Sunday morning. No stimulants were involved in the making of this accomplishment (and only one beer for me all night, because I feel so much better about my life and my life’s choices when I’m sober than when I’m drinking. The fear of a hangover is always more than enough to keep me from drinking in any manner than could be called “excessive.”).

Major Life Moment #3: I made it to sunrise.

When I was at my best friend’s before we went out, we were talking about the plan for the night, and the more we talked, the more it became clear that we’d be out for awhile. I half-jokingly suggested we try to make it until sunrise, which has been not-all-that-serious goal of mine since about this time last year, when I stayed out quite late with my best friend on the Fourth of July. I didn’t actually mean it when I said it on Saturday, but by the time we got back to my best friend’s place, the sky had definitely started to brighten in the east, and by the time I went home, it felt weird taking a cab because it was light enough outside to no longer seem like nighttime. Cross that item off the bucket list.

3. I have a somewhat unconventional office situation. My boss owns two companies, entirely unrelated to each other, but since he owns both, employees for both companies work in the same, open office. Because of this, I know everyone who works for the other company in the sense that I see them and hear their conversations every day, but I have extremely limited interaction with those who work for the other company. They occasionally say hello or good morning, but that is the beginning and end of my relationship with anyone who works for that company. (Though they do provide ample fodder for my Twitter feed, as these are the people most prone to making absurd claims or doing absurd things. They also are the ones most likely to prompt me to put in headphones while working 😛 And, to their credit, they are also the most consistent suppliers of office treats, so I can’t complain about them too much.)

A fair number of people who work for the other company are advanced in years, and over the weekend, the wife of one of those people died. It wasn’t unexpected at all. She’s been in poor health since I started working here three years ago (three years ago today!), and has been in and out of the hospital for the better part of the last year and a half. Of course, once everyone learned that she had died, the topic of the funeral came up. It was a foregone conclusion that everyone who works for the other company would go to the funeral. It’s a small business, and all of them work closely together. What those who work for my company would do, though, was a little stickier. My boss and another coworker who’s sort of “second in command” when it comes to company ownership would go, as they are directly involved with the other company, but what would the rest of us who work in this office but not for that company do? I talked to one of my coworkers on Tuesday and he told me he planned to not go, which was a relief for me, as that meant I felt I didn’t need to go either. There was a small part of me that felt obligated to go, but a much larger part of me that felt quite uncomfortable going to the funeral of a woman who was married to a man I have literally spoken to twice in any capacity (including “hello”) over the past three years. After work on Tuesday, however, my coworker sent me a Facebook message saying the more he thought about it, the more he thought we should go. So we went.

Now, the VAST majority of people who work for the other company are Jewish, including the man whose wife died. Prior to Wednesday, I had only been to two funerals in my entire life: my great-grandma’s when I was 11 and my grandpa’s when I was 17. No one in my family is Jewish, nor have I ever been particularly close to anyone Jewish, and though working in this particular office has educated me on a fair number of Jewish customs and traditions, I was 100% clueless as to what to expect at a Jewish funeral. The last thing I wanted was to show up dressed inappropriately according to tradition, so I did what any good Millenial with an iPhone would do: I turned to Siri.



To make matters even worse, the first time I asked her this, she said, “Definitely the leather pants!” WHAT?!?!?!?! To test Siri’s anti-Semitism, I asked her simply, “What should I wear to a funeral?” and she said, “I’d go with something greenish,” proving that Siri isn’t prejudiced, but just wildly insensitive jerkface. It boggles my mind that this kind of bug exists with Siri. Don’t get me wrong: I never thought that Siri would have an actual answer for me. I did, however, absolutely think someone, anyone, at Apple would have thought to build Siri to respond to this sort of question with a web search, not a snarky, horribly inappropriate suggestion.

I am happy to report, however, that when I specifically asked Siri to “search the web for what to wear to a Jewish funeral,” she was much more helpful. I’m also happy to report, should anyone else find themselves in my shoes, that regular funeral attire is appropriate for a Jewish funeral (I, personally, was just worried about whether or not, as a woman, it would be acceptable for me to wear pants. I learned that it was, unless I were going to a very traditional funeral, but then as I was digging through my closet to find my long-ignored black pants, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that at some point in my life, I thought it’d be wise to buy a professional black shirt and miraculously had not thrown it away. I wore that, because it made me feel more comfortable than pants.)

What are you doing for the Fourth?
Any weird/terrible Siri stories?

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