1. Now. I’m not about to go defending Miley Cyrus for being, as one of my wittier Facebook friends put it, a “disaster-muffin,” because that VMA performance was downright scarring. However. Can we please agree that it’s not particularly fair to be all, “Remember how sweet and innocent she was when she was 12? Why can’t we have that Miley back?” Because while it definitely is too bad she, like most of the former child stars who end up in the news, couldn’t keep her a straight head on her shoulders, aren’t most people a bit less sweet and innocent when they’re 20 than when they were 12? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say there are probably a whooooooole lot of college juniors doing a whoooooooole lot of things most people would not consider appropriate behavior for a 12 year old. Granted, they’re generally not doing it on national television, and they generally didn’t grow up in the public eye, but I think all this “RIP Hannah Montana” business is unfair. While you probably won’t find me on MTV getting all up in Robin Thicke’s business any time soon, or even doing anything in any way remotely equivalent to that trainwreck of a performance, I, personally, am quite happy I’m no longer the person I was when I was 12. Even if I do still have a special place in my heart for American Juniors, like I did when I was 12.
Let’s not talk about how much time I spent trying to decide which video to post here. Let’s also not talk about the fact that this show has now been over for 10 years.
We can talk about the fact that I knew who Lucy Hale was before everyone else, though. And the fact that she attended the Teen Choice Awards in 2003, and then hosted in 2013. And the fact that her mom, during the audition episodes of American Juniors, said, “I think in 10 years everyone will know Lucy’s name.”
Where was I going with all of this again?
2. So it’s been a bit on the toasty side here in Chicago this week, which has been a good exercise in, “You can’t control everything, Bethany, and the world does not revolve around your temperature preferences.” While I think, in general, I’ve been doing a pretty good job of taking this heat wave in stride, I have found myself increasingly frustrated with one particular situation: the lack of frozen treat establishments in my neighborhood. The closest one is nearly a mile from my apartment. I live in a veritable ice cream/frozen yogurt desert, people. This is not okay. I am not interested in going home from work, running, showering, and then taking a CTA adventure (because goodness knows I’m not walking a mile for ice cream/frozen yogurt in this weather after I’ve already run and showered) to satisfy my seasonal sweet tooth, nor am I–or anyone else in Chicago, probably–interested in running in 90 degree heat to ice cream/frozen yogurt and then making everyone deal with my sweaty, smelly self. I want to be able to walk a block or two and indulge myself in frozen dairy goodness. Is this so much to ask? I should quit my job and open an ice cream shop, because clearly I would have a corner on the neighborhood market. Not to mention I’d have access to free ice cream.
3. Do you know what time it is? COLLEGE FOOTBALL TIME!! WOO!
I do not have cable or satellite, which definitely cramps my college football watching style. Last year I had all sorts of grandiose plans to make myself a regular at a Michigan bar and watch every game, but then I was all, “But I don’t like alcohol and don’t want to spend money on food. And I don’t have anyone to go with. And I have soccer. And I can look up scores online. And I’m shy.” Needless to say, I never made it to a Michigan bar last year. THIS YEAR, though, I hope to change my ways. Or at least this Saturday. Michigan is playing Central Michigan, and since my cousin plays for Central, I feel like I should make a conscious effort to watch the game. Not gonna lie, though: I’m still kind of nervous about going solo to a Michigan bar. I know I don’t want to drink this Saturday afternoon, but do I still have to buy something? Are Michigan alumni the only people who show up to these things, not random I-just-really-like-Michigan-and-applied-and-got-in-and-really-thought-about-going-but-ended-up-going-to-this-random-DIII-school-instead people? Am I supposed to wear maize and blue so people know why I’m there? Can I get away with wearing my BTN Big 10K shirt every Saturday until it gets cold enough to wear my Michigan hoodie? Am I technically supposed to cheer for Central this week, because of my cousin?
Am I overthinking all of this? Oh, most DEFINITELY.
Is your neighborhood sorely lacking in something essential? Like, say, an ice cream shop…
Have you ever gone to a bar with express purpose of watching a sporting event? Because even though I like to be all, “Oh, look at me, I’m a sports fan!” …I never have. Weird, right? Probably because none of my friends are sports fans, and I don’t want to go alone.