1. So, about that whole “softball to make friends thing.” Epic fail. Epic expensive fail 😦
I knew from the get-go that making friends on my softball team was going to be much harder than I originally anticipated when, at our get-to-know-your-teammates event last week, I discovered that 1) only one other person out of the 20 on our team knew no one else on the team, meaning 18 of the 20 of us had at least one wingman/woman to hang out with and 2) I somehow ended up on a drinking team with a softball problem.
Spending time with these people feels like I’ve crashed a frat party, which is just not my scene. It never has been my scene, and at this point in my life, I don’t see why binge drinking crappy beer should become my scene, since I’m, you know, not in college anymore.
Honestly, I really, truly don’t care if other people like drinking more than I do. I didn’t drink at all until this past January, and I still don’t drink much (I’m pretty much exclusively a cider gal with the occasional mixed drink thrown in. Beer and wine, though, are still icky to my taste buds), but I went out all the time with my friends in college. They drank, I hung out with them, and it was great. That’s also how things went when I played volleyball through this league last summer. My teammates had a beer after the game, I hung out with them, and it was great. I never felt like the odd woman out, I never felt like an antisocial loser, I never felt like I was judged for not wanting to get schwasted at 3:30 on a Sunday afternoon. With these people, though, it’s a whole different ball game. I do feel like a loser hanging out at what one of our captains dubbed the “old people’s table” with the people who got so crazy on Saturday that they felt they couldn’t manage to drink anything on Sunday while the rest of my team is playing flip cup. It’s one thing to sit around a table chatting with your team while they all drink, but it’s another thing to stand around watching everyone play drinking games while you don’t participate. If there’s a non-awkward way to go about doing that, I’m sure in the dark about it. This is the exact reason why you could easily find me at our local brewery on Wednesday nights in college but would never find me at a party on Saturday nights. I think there’s a huge difference between social drinking and party drinking, and I’ve found myself on a team that is SIGNIFICANTLY less interested in social drinking than party drinking.
I hate that I get the sense from people who do drink, particularly people who drink a lot, that there’s something wrong with me for not wanting to drink like they drink. That I must inherently be not fun, that I’m too uptight, that I’m not “cool” (come on, people. Are we still 16?), that I’m not worth spending time with or getting to know as a human being because I have hobbies and interests and passions other than putting as much fermented wheat into my body as possible in an evening (or afternoon, as the case may be). Maybe I’m biased, but personally I’ve found that both people who do and do not drink can be equally wonderful (or equally awful) people, and I wish I didn’t feel like my willingness to get or not get drunk was viewed as a litmus test for whether or not I’m worth befriending. I mean, I guess if literally the only way you know how to socialize is with a beer or two in your system and another beer in your hand, then maybe that is a fair litmus test for friendship…but maybe that’s also an indicator that you have an alcohol problem.
I don’t know what I’m going to do about softball. Two interactions with my team seems like too soon to write them all off as Future Alcoholics of America and people I could never possibly befriend. We don’t have a game on the 12th or 26th, and I’m not able to make the game on the 19th, so I won’t see any of these people again until June. I’m probably going to give it another game or two to see how things play out, but if it continues to be as bad as this past Sunday, I don’t know if I’ll make it through the whole season. Being lonely by yourself sucks, but being lonely in a group of people and fighting back tears on the bus home because you feel like such a loser sucks more.
2. On a probably related note, I’ve been dealing with overwhelming nostalgia for the past couple of weeks, which is not helping this whole “woe is me I have no friends and am so lonely” mentality rut I’ve been in lately. Graduation was last weekend at my alma mater, and all the pictures and updates and such made me miss school, camp, and basically everything about my former life to the point where on Tuesday, for the first time since moving to Chicago, I legitimately considered moving back home. Maybe not back to my home home, but back to Michigan. Not that that would really solve the nostalgia, but man oh man do I miss my college friends, my camp friends, and my family. Or, you know. Just having a social circle in general.
3. MAN am I whiny. I shouldn’t blog when I’m feeling down. Or should I, for the sake of not painting a false picture of a perfect life? Regardless, here’s some amusement from Pinterest, for putting up with me and my bad-attitude self:
^^ one of my all time favorite jokes.
Surely, surely, SURELY I am not the only person over 21 and under 40 that thinks it’s possible to make friends with twentysomethings without playing drinking games. Reassure me, people.
Funniest thing you’ve seen on the Internet lately?