As I’ve alluded to, my transition to Chicago has not gone as easily as I might have liked. A lot of things have been fine, but relationally, it’s been a struggle.
I wasn’t ignorant before I moved. I knew making friends would not be a walk in the park. Making friends has never been easy for me, even when I’ve been in situations conducive to new-friend-making. It takes me a very long time to get comfortable in new places, and until I’m comfortable, I’m extremely shy.
I hate my shyness. If I could pick one personality trait to shed, that would be the first one I’d get rid of. Growing up, I went to a pretty small school where meeting people required zero effort. College, however, was a whole new ball game. I had to intentionally put myself in situations where I could meet new people and hopefully make friends.
Chicago is kind of like that, just on an infinitely larger scale. I knew ahead of time that I would not make friends by sitting in my apartment hoping a social neighbor would knock on my door asking to be best friends. I would do things, go places, find ways to get involved if I had any hope of keeping myself from being desperately lonely. Time to get out of my comfort zone.
Within a few days of moving to Chicago, I knew I wanted–nay, needed–to volunteer at an animal shelter in the area. For the past 11 years, we’ve had a dog at my house, and I without question love him more than anyone else in the family. My dog can get away with just about anything when I’m around.
I mean, how do you say no to that? Bestest fwend 🙂
I can’t have pets in my apartment, and I’m really not in a place where I can take on the responsibility of a pet anyway, but seeing all sorts of people walking their dogs every day was killing me. I started researching shelters early last week and finally settled on starting with Felines and Canines, a non-profit, no-kill shelter in Edgewater.
Somewhat unfortunately for me, Felines and Canines turned out to be exclusively feline at the moment. They’re rebuilding their shelter, and are currently located in a small storefront that only has space for cats. I was really looking for a place where I could play with dogs, but I decided playing with cats that day would be better than waiting two or three months for my volunteer application to go through at another shelter, so I stuck around.
Felines and Canines is a super chill shelter with a lot of cats in need of some love. Once they finish building their permanent shelter, they’ll also have dogs (hooray!). I hung out for about an hour, attempting to learn the cats’ names and basically just petting the cats that weren’t scared to death of humans. I don’t know if I’ll go back every weekend, but I do hope to make it in at least twice a month to get my animal fix.
In addition to volunteering at Felines and Canines, I also signed up for a volleyball league in the city. I actually registered for it well before I moved, figuring it would be both a good way to meet people and a little more interesting way of cross training than always biking or ellipticaling.
The get-to-know-your-team event for my volleyball league was last night, and it was great. I didn’t know a single person on my team ahead of time, but as it turns out one person on the team did the same program in Chicago that I did the first time I lived in the city, another person on the team knows someone I go to church with here because they were in choir together in college, and a third person apparently lives in the building next door to me. I don’t know if I’ll necessarily become BFFs with anyone on my team, but at the very least it looks like I’m in for a good time once a week for the next two months.
I miss my friends and home a lot, but spending all my time wishing I were still with them isn’t going to make my enjoy Chicago anymore. I’m here now, and while I definitely want to maintain my relationships with my old friends, I also definitely could use some friends here as well. I’m not going to pretend like all my relational woes have been solved, but I feel like I’m at least making a step in the right direction.
Cats or dogs?
What kind of things do you like to do to meet other people?
Ohhh, easy one. Dogs. But cats are cool to.
Umm, meet people? Whut?! 🙂 Social events where we’re doing something, not just sitting around eating and/or drinking.
Good on you for breaking out of your comfort zone. Being shy isn’t easy. Hope you make some good connections in your Chicago adventure.
Thank you!
I hate that I’m shy too! It’s gotten a lot better, that’s for sure. But it can still be inhibiting at times. I was that girl in high school where you didn’t know was in the class until the last day of school haha.
Cats or dogs? Hmm….cats. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love dogs!
You’re totally right about shyness being inhibiting! It’s rough sometimes, but I’m glad you’re getting better at it, too. A tough thing to do for sure!
wow – that is awesome! volunteering & joining a club sport are great ways of meeting new people & getting involved and I’m glad you enjoyed both of them so far! I’ve never been in a situation where I haven’t none anyone and was literally forced to make friends, so I admire you for being able to take the needed steps to do so!
Thank youuuu! 🙂 Yeah, it’s a really weird situation to be in for the first time…definitely forces you to make some adjustments!