1. You guys. I just can’t take this anymore.

Never, ever, under any circumstance, should a forecast for Chicago predict a high of 90 and be able to call that “not as hot.” Rumor has it after this weekend we’re in for a cooldown, or at least a no-longer-tropical-down, and I, for one, could not be happier. If I wanted Miami weather, I would’ve moved to Miami.

I don’t even want to think about what my electricity bill is going to be next month.

2. Yesterday’s temperatures put a damper on my original parade-viewing plans for the Fourth with one of my friends from college, but it did not prevent us from having a picnic…

…on the floor of my air-conditioned bedroom. Gosh I’m hardcore.

Also, I know I committed the unforgivable Chicago sin of putting ketchup on my hot dog. But man, I like ketchup. Also, it was organic ketchup, because apparently such a high fructose corn syrup-free thing exists (which kind of makes my life), so it was practically just tomatoes anyway. At least I know I’m doing it wrong.

3. After our picnic, my friend and I thought it’d be a great idea to venture downtown to see the fireworks at Navy Pier.  Surprisingly, so did the rest of Chicago. And Illinois. And the United States in general, I think. There were so many people. There was so much sweat. There was so little air to go around. But there was also a nice fireworks display, as not-shown by my awful pictures.

I’ll blame my shaky hands on the sweat I could literally feel rolling down my spine, which is really only a rewarding feeling when you’re running or working out, not when you’re standing in a crowd of people. Then it’s just disgusting.

How did you spend your Fourth of July?